


merry christmas you filthy animal

by perfect-porcelain (tedddylupin)



Category: Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston
Genre: Adorable Fluff, Holiday Exchange, M/M, Secret Santa AU, honestly it's tooth rotting stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:00:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21937867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tedddylupin/pseuds/perfect-porcelain
Summary: When Alex draws Henry's name for Secret Santa he realizes he knows nothing about him so of course he takes the week to gather information while also giving him an education on Christmas movies that he was never able to watch growing up.
Relationships: Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor
Comments: 17
Kudos: 149





	merry christmas you filthy animal

**Author's Note:**

  * For [empressevelyn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/empressevelyn/gifts).



> This goes out to the lovely Chelsea for the Holiday Exchange on the RWRB discord!! I hope you enjoy it as much as I had writing it!

“Okay so tell me why we’re doing this again? And why is _he_ here?” Alex whispered to June and she looked back at Henry who was standing with Pez and Nora.

“Because we needed and even number and Pez says he’s cool alright? We’ve been out with him a few times and yeah he’s quiet but he’s fun. Plus he’s Bea’s brother so obviously he’s gotta be cool.” June rolled her eyes.

“Well _I’ve_ never been out with him more than like twice.” Alex muttered.

“That’s because you’re a lil bitch who says no if you have to drive somewhere in the dark.”

“Excuse me for not having the extra money to go get my eyes checked _June_.” Alex pursed his lips.

“Oh my god.” She said mostly to herself before clapping her hands. “Alright, alright gather round. Time to pick Secret Santa.” She held out a Santa hat that held little slips of paper and shook it slightly. “The only rule is you can’t get yourself.” 

“I would be the best gift giver for myself.” Alex said and June rolled her eyes again. 

She went around and everyone drew a name, leaving Alex with the last slip. He took it and unfolded it.

**Henry**

“Everyone’s work for them?” June asked and everyone nodded before she looked at Alex. “Alex?”

“Um…” He said before June let out an exasperated sound.

“Did you draw yourself?”

“No but-”

“Then good, everyone’s works. Now you have two weeks to get a gift for our next dinner night and make sure not to tell people what you got for them _or_ reveal who your person’s name is.” June smiled brightly.

“Can we eat now?” Nora raised her hand.

“Yes, let’s fucking eat.” Pez slapped his hands together and rubbed them quickly. 

Everyone gathered into the kitchen except Alex who hung back after noticing Henry was too. 

“You not eating?” He asked, sidling up to the annoyingly taller man.

“I am, I just figured I’d let everyone else get some first. I’m not super hungry.” Henry shrugged and gave him a smile that Alex wanted to narrow his eyes at but in the spirit of Christmas, he did not.

“Big lunch?”

“Yeah,” Henry didn’t offer anything home.

“Uh huh...right well I’m gonna eat.” Alex finally did narrow his eyes for a moment before brightening, and then he pushed forward. He grabbed a few slices of the pizza and sat down on the floor in front of the TV, leaving the couch for the girls. He looked up when Henry sat down next to him against the chair that Pez had occupied. 

“Everyone shut the fuck up and watch.” Nora interrupted the chatter and pressed play on the classic Jim Carrey version of the Grinch. The only one that Alex would acknowledge. 

During the movie Alex kept looking over at Henry who was enraptured.

“You look like you’ve never seen this before.” He whispered to Henry at the peril of getting slapped upside the head by Nora.

“That’s because I haven’t.” Henry whispered back, leaning toward Alex but not taking his eyes off the TV.

“The fuck? Are you serious?” Alex’s voice rose and then he did get that slap upside the head. “Sorry, but Henry just casually mentioned he’s never seen this movie before.”

Everyone gasped and Henry shrugged self-consciously. “We didn’t watch a lot of Christmas movies growing up.”

Bea nodded in agreement. “It’s true.” 

“Fucking hell, alright well you’re going to have an intervention this week after work.” Alex poked Henry hard on the bicep and the man protested only slightly in pain before nodding his agreement. 

“Getting in your fingers I see. Pray tell who did you get for Secret Santa Alex?” June caught him after the movie as they were throwing away the trash.

“You know I don’t go easy on Secret Santa June. I gotta get intel and this is the best way to do it.” Alex whispered back. He stuck out his tongue when June annoyingly gave him a knowing look but said nothing. 

So Alex texted Henry the next day and of course the man showed up punctual as ever. It was almost suspicious how on time he was. Then again, Alex was known for showing up exactly ten minutes late to have the perfect air of ‘yes I want to be here but I want you to acknowledge me when I walk through the door’. 

“Hey man.” Alex opened the door to where Henry was standing, admiring the wreath that Nora had made him.

“Hello.” Henry brightened and stepped inside as Alex moved to let him in. Henry slipped off his knit hat and ran a hand through his hair that had become mussed underneath it. It was annoying how attractive that was but Alex had always had a bit of a kink for knit hats and messy hair so he ignored it.

“I’d thought we’d watch Elf today. You haven’t seen that one right?” Alex began to talk over his shoulder as he walked into the living room, assuming Henry would close the door behind him and follow suit. 

“Er, no, I haven’t.” Henry said as he quickly got the hint judging by the way Alex could hear the door shut and quickened footsteps. 

“Good, because we only have two weeks to catch you up.” Alex turned quickly in the ball of his foot like a drill sergeant and Henry had to stop himself abruptly so he wouldn’t crash into Alex.

“Sir yes sir.” Henry saluted and Alex snickered.

“Please never do that ever again.”

“Yeah it felt wrong as soon as I did it.” 

The two settled down on the couch and began to watch Will Ferrell as the most wholesome elf. Alex wondered if Henry would be a bit like Buddy if he was an elf. He found himself studying the man more than actually watching the movie but he reasoned that this was because he needed to figure out what Henry would actually want as a gift. He could mark knit hat off the list because obviously Henry already owned one. 

“So are you a big drinker? I only ask because if we’re going to do all these movies in such a short amount of time it would be nice to have some alcohol to go with it right?” Alex mused, mostly poking at Henry’s interests. A bottle of wine would be a nice gift.

“Nah I’m not really a bit drinker. Usually just special occasions and not during the work week. I honestly think I might be allergic to alcohol but it’s worth it for big events.” Henry said, not looking at Alex, instead watching the movie.

“Oh alright then.” Alex said though inside he was grumbling to himself.

Soon the movie ended and they both stood up. 

“This time tomorrow?” Henry asked as he pulled on his jacket followed by his knit hat.

“Yup, I’ll be treating you to a holiday classic set in your home country.” Alex grinned.

“I can’t wait for them to butcher my culture.” Henry grinned back before waving goodbye, leaving Alex alone at the door wondering where this personality came from. 

Perhaps he had written Henry off too quickly but the two times he had hung out with him before in the group his voice had gotten talked over. Perhaps the man was just more of a listener unless he was the sole focus. Alex couldn’t comprehend that. He much preferred to be the center of attention. Still, he could respect Henry a bit more now. Even if he could be a bit of a bore in a crowd.

“So the movie is Love Actually and you will actually love it.” Alex said as Henry walked in the next day.

“Ba dum tiss.” Henry responded quickly, hands making the drum motions. 

“I know, I know, I’ll be here all week.” Alex grinned over his shoulder.

Henry sat down on the couch on one end with Alex on the other. Yet again Alex found himself watching Henry more than the movie. He had to laugh every time Henry scoff indignantly.

“This is terrible. Poor Emma Thompson. She is a national treasure!” Henry moaned as he put his head in his hands while poor Emma listened to Jodie Mitchell. 

Alex snickered. “Earlier I lied. You definitely will not enjoy this movie. The whole poster scene? Terrible.”

“This is evil of you.” Henry frowned.

“Don’t worry, tomorrow’s movie will be much better and will also be set in your country.” Alex grinned as they idled by the door. 

“Right, well. Tomorrow’s Friday. Do you want to include some alcohol this time?” Henry asked a little nervously.

“I thought you said you didn’t do alcohol.”

“Well this is a special occasion right? An actually good Christmas movie set in my country unless you’re trying to pull my leg again.” Henry narrowed his eyes in a warning.

Alex held up his hands. “I pinky promise, this one is great. What sort of alcohol do you like?”

“I’ll bring the wine. Nora keeps trying to give me wine and I keep saying yes because I feel bad and don’t know how to tell her to stop.”

“Well shit, bring it all over. Free wine for me.” Alex laughed and Henry grinned and Alex was left with the sneaky thought that Henry didn’t smile that smile just for anyone, otherwise the room would be lit up all the time.

Alex found himself surfing the internet at work the next day trying to figure out a good Secret Santa gift for Henry. He now knew that Henry had a dog named David but David didn’t like treats and it did feel rather wrong to get a human a dog present. He also knew that Henry was a Star Wars fan but hated collectibles because they were too lame and he apparently hated clutter.

He let out an annoyed groan and clicked out of the tab. Whatever. Whatever right? He would get something lame and cheap and call it good. 

He gritted his teeth.

No, he was not one to go cheap. He was an excellent gift giver and he was going to make it extra special dammit. 

Henry stepped into the apartment that night easily carrying at least five bottles of wine. “I felt like a lush strolling up with all these in my arms.” He said as he carefully set the wine down.

“Nora has good taste.” Alex said appreciatively as he got the wine opener and opened a bottle of pinot noir. “You’ll like this one I think. Not too dry but not too sweet either.” 

“The Goldilocks of wine if you will.” Henry said as he took the glass from Alex.

“Exactly my friend.” Alex clinked his glass together and then brought the bottle out to the living room. The Holiday was already cued up as they sat down on the couch together. 

“Oh that is definitely not Surrey. Maybe outskirts of Surrey but not Surrey.” Henry scoffed as they watched the movie. Alex giggled, his cheeks warm from the wine. He was already a glass and a half in with Henry keeping time with him.

“So indignant.” 

“Whatever, at least Jude Law is very nice to look at.” Henry sighed. “Now _he’s_ a national treasure.”

“What about Kate Winslet?” Alex frowned.

“Nope, can’t do it. She’s pretty yes, but her in real life? Not good.” Henry shook his head. “Jude Law is still just as handsome. I could get lost in his blue eyes.” 

“Him and Cameron would have amazing blue eyed children.” Alex nodded. He had somehow sunk down into the couch, Henry much closer this night as they kept getting up to get more wine and moving closer each time. 

“Yeah I suppose.” Henry murmured. “Do you think Jude’s attractive?” 

Alex was silent for a moment. He didn’t know Henry that well. Not really anyways. Nora and June knew he was bisexual but he had never told Pez and Bea and definitely not Henry. He wondered if this was a prod from Henry to see if he was attracted to men. He supposed if Henry was going to stick around what did it hurt?

“He’s oozing sexiness. If there was any instance I could kiss Jude Law with that tan and that slightly curly hair I would do it in a heartbeat.” Alex said with confidence, looking over at Henry who brightened at his words.

“Ditto on that one.”

Huh. Interesting.

“I don’t think I can move. The room’s spinning.” Henry groaned when the movie was over. 

“You wanna crash here for the night?” Alex asked, his own words slurring a bit. They had gone through two bottles of wine and both were feeling it.

“You don’t mind?”

“Nah, better than you getting yourself hurt trying to get home.” Alex waved him off. “I’ll get some blankets, you can take the couch. You aren’t going to throw up are you?”

“A lady never throws up.” Henry frowned, his face scrunched up in the cutest little way and Alex was a bit floored by it. 

“I’ll bring you a trashcan. You don’t much look like a lady.” 

“Rude. I would never put out on the first date.” Henry closed his eyes.

“Oh is this a date then?” Alex said, amused.

“Obviously you haven’t been paying attention.” Henry murmured and then promptly fell asleep. Alex watched him for a moment and even in his slightly drunken haze he wondered what it would be like to actually go on a date with Henry. He was kind and funny and much more interesting than he had originally given him credit for.

He sucked in a breath and forced himself to move away, only to come back and spread a blanket across Henry’s sleeping body and to set a trashcan by the man’s head. He reached out, fingers itching to brush back the blonde locks but he caught himself in time, pulling back and quickly exiting the room.

It was only when he was back in the safety of his bedroom did he let himself let go of the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding and closed his eyes. 

He was drunk. It was fine.

“What’s this? Breakfast in bed?” Henry mumbled as Alex plopped on the couch next to him, holding a mug of coffee in one hand and a mug of tea in the other.

“Don’t think you’re special. I don’t actually own a table so the couch is all I got. Hope you like chai tea because it’s either that or coffee.”

Henry wrinkled his nose at the mention of chai tea and Alex gave him a warning look. “Chai is fine.” He quickly said as he sat up only to groan and grab his head. 

Alex pulled out a couple of tylenol out of his pocket and set it on the coffee table. “Got you those too.”

“Bless you.” Henry muttered as he knocked them back with a sip of the tea. “I should probably go.”

“Excuse you, we are having a movie marathon whilst you attempt to recover from...this.” Alex gestured vaguely towards Henry who narrowed his eyes.

“If I couldn’t hear my pulse pounding in my head right now you’d be getting a lecture.” Henry frowned and Alex only laughed. 

He hit play on Christmas Vacation and settled back into the couch to watch the Griswolds totally fuck up their Christmas with some slapstick humor that even got Henry laughing even though he winced right after doing said laughing.

He followed that with The Santa Clause, one of his favorites. 

“It’s great because Scott Calvin is honestly the worst but he quickly becomes the best.” Alex explained with a knowing look. He and Henry were eating Chinese food, something Henry had actually requested despite Alex’s surprise. 

“Isn’t that how all Christmas movies go?” Henry asked, mouth full of lo mein. 

“Quite possibly. You might be onto something there.” Alex pointed at Henry with his chopsticks and grinned. 

They continued on with The Santa Clause 2 and then ended the night with Home Alone.

“I still can’t believe you haven’t seen any of these very iconic movies. They get referenced even outside the holiday season.” Alex said, his voice muffled from the pillow that his head was resting on. Henry and him were both lying on opposite ends of the couch, their legs meeting in the middle. 

“Call me a sheltered child I guess. Christmas was never a big holiday in my house. My family isn’t like yours. I only really like Bea and Pez just kinda happened along the way.” Henry shrugged, his voice muffled as well. 

Alex studied Henry for a long moment. “You know, you’re different than what I expected.”

Henry looked back at Alex. “Oh yeah? How so?”

Alex scooted up a bit on the couch so that he was sitting up. “I thought you were this prissy private school Englishman who didn’t give the time of day to people that you didn’t grow up around.”

Henry sat up as well. “Did you really? I’m definitely not that.”

“Well I know that _now_. You’re much cooler than people give you credit for. I think you’re just shy. In your defense though I’m way too loud for people most of the time. I can be a lot.” Alex shrugged.

Henry pulled his knees to his chest and leaned his head on the top of them. “I will admit I did think that when I first met you. You’re intimidating.”

“And now?”

Henry tilted his head a bit, his blonde hair falling over his forehead. “Now that I know you’re a giant nerd you’re much less intimidating.” 

Alex let out a bark of laughter and hit Henry with his pillow who of course had to hit back with his own pillow. The continued the pillow fight until Alex was suddenly pinned under Henry and they were both laughing and breathing hard and Alex was left with a pang in his chest.

He cleared his throat and Henry sat back, letting him go. 

“I should probably get going.” Henry said, standing up quickly. 

Alex stood as well. “Well this was fun. I’m down for doing another movie marathon soon. It doesn’t even have to be a Christmas one.” He said, somewhat shyly. 

Henry shrugged into his coat and pulled on his knit cap. “Yeah it was fun. I don’t think I can come over until Tuesday though. Unless my education in Christmas movies is finished?”

“Oh no, we have two more to go.” Alex shook his head and Henry gave him a soft smile.

“Right, Tuesday then.” 

And then he was gone and Alex was left alone with his thoughts and still wracking his brain for a Secret Santa gift.

“Alright so what’s this one then?” Henry asked as he sat down on the couch without being offered.

“A Christmas Story.” Alex said as he handed Henry a mug of actual Earl Grey that he had actually gone out to buy.

“Wow, what a lovely gift, thank you.” Henry grinned as he took a sip. Alex had his own chai and they settled in to watch the movie. Of course Alex fell asleep towards the end, work having kicked his ass this week.

He felt someone lightly tapping his shoulder and he let out a noise of annoyance. 

“Alex?”

“Hm?” He asked, sleepily opening his eyes. 

Henry was standing over him with his coat on. “I’m going to head out. See you tomorrow for our last movie?”

“Oh, yeah okay. Sorry I fell asleep.” He rubbed his eyes and sat up.

“It’s okay, you didn’t snore hardly at all.” Henry gave him a cheeky grin and Alex swatted him. 

“Shut up.”

“See ya.”

“Yeah, see you tomorrow Hen.” He murmured. He didn’t even notice Henry freezing at the nickname.

When Henry came the next day Alex gestured him inside. 

“Oh wow, you went all out huh?” Henry slipped off his knit cap and looked at the set up. There was tea along with a charcuterie board and a platter of cookies.

“Gotta celebrate you becoming a man!” Alex laughed and Henry rolled his eyes as he sat down on the couch. Alex sat down next to him.

“Okay this last one is an all time classic and it’s a little sad in the middle but it’s got a good ending.” Alex explained as Henry stole a sugar cookie. He hit play on It’s a Wonderful Life and began to pile his paper plate (because he was cheap and didn’t own more than two actual plates which were dirty) with meats and cheeses and sweets.

Henry did the same and then they both sat back and took in the black and white classic. 

When the credits started to roll Alex turned towards Henry. “So?”

“It was good. I do love old movies sometimes. They don’t make them like that anymore.” Henry said with a sigh of nostalgia.

“Nope, they sure don’t.” Alex agreed. “I’m a little sad that your education is over though.”

“You know you’ll see me tomorrow for the Secret Santa right?” Henry smirked at him and Alex looked down, picking at a loose thread on the blanket.

“Yeah, I know, but I did like having you over every night.”

Henry gave him a slow smile. “You did?”

“Yeah.” Alex shrugged. “Guess that just means you’ll have to educate me on something.” 

“Have you ever seen Lord of the Rings?”

“Nope.” Alex grinned while Henry let out a wounded noise.

“Alright, after the holidays we’re watching that first thing.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Alex nodded.

Henry left shortly after, taking a bag of cookies with him. He knew he would see the man the next day but it still felt sad watching Henry keep going out that door. 

The next night he dressed up as per June’s slightly scary voicemail. He walked into June and Nora’s apartment with his platter of cookies and found that he was the last one to arrive.

“Fucking finally mate!” Pez called out and everyone turned to witness his walk of shame.

“I hit every red light okay?” He protested.

“Likely story.” Henry grinned and Alex couldn’t help the way his face brightened when he saw the man walk into the room. “More cookies?”

“Yup, more cookies. Since that’s basically all I can bake.” He shrugged and Henry laughed.

“Better than me, I assure you.” 

Alex gave him a soft smile before June, Nora, and Bea interrupted. 

“Are those the peanut butter cookies?” June asked as she peered over the tray.

“Oh hell yes.” Nora swiped the tray out of Alex’s hands, ignoring his sounds of protest.

“Before we eat though, we’re going to do Secret Santa so everyone grab your gifts.” June clapped her hands together and Alex was starting to get nervous.

He watched as everyone handed over their gift. Pez got June and gave her a beautiful necklace that was way over the budget. Nora got Bea and gave her a cheese tray with a little knife to go with it. June got Alex who gave him a nice silk tie ‘to match his eyes’ as she explained. Henry got Pez and gave him two tumblers which also looked outside the budget. Bea got Nora and gave her a new headset for her gaming. 

“Did everyone get their gift?” June asked.

Alex could feel Henry’s eyes on him.

“Yep.” Henry said and Alex turned towards him quickly. “Later.” He mouthed to Alex who nodded. 

They got their food and the entire apartment was alive with laughter and talk and Christmas music in the background. 

It was after that Alex brought Henry aside. 

“I guess you figured out I got you for Secret Santa.” He said awkwardly, not looking into Henry’s eyes.

“Yes, I can do math.” Henry said with a wry smile. “Is that why you brought me over for movies these last two weeks?”

“Well, that’s how it started out, but after the first two days I found I just wanted to hang out with you but every time I tried to get intel on what you would want for a gift you kept saying things that would make it seem like you wouldn’t like what I was thinking for you and I didn’t want to give you some lame ass gift that would just collect dust and I-” Alex rambled until suddenly he was pulled forward and he felt lips against his own.

He let out a surprised noise and his eyes were open as Henry kissed him and then he melted into the kiss because A. Henry was a good kisser surprisingly and B. He had been wanting to do that himself but he was too chicken shit to do it.

Henry pulled back and Alex opened his eyes, not knowing when he had actually closed them.

“Uh...wow okay.” Alex started, rubbing the back of his neck.

“That’s your gift to me.” Henry said and Alex looked at him, confused. “I’ve been wanting to do that honestly since I first met you. You light up every room you’re in Alex and when you kept inviting me over for movies I felt like...well I had won a prize or something. I don’t care that you didn’t give me a physical gift because spending this time with you the last two weeks has been more than enough for me.” 

Alex was left stunned. “Wait, really? You’ve thought that about me?”

Henry shrugged, a blush starting to form across his cheeks and the tips of his ears. “Well, yeah. I just didn’t think you were interested in guys so I didn’t say anything, but then you talked about kissing Jude Law-”

“Oh Jude Law.” Alex said dreamily.

“Hey, pay attention. Pouring my heart out here.” Henry snapped his fingers and Alex stood at attention and nodded. “Anyways, when you said that I thought I had a chance.”

Alex took a step closer and took Henry’s hands. “You definitely have more than a chance because I’ve been wanting to kiss you since you fell asleep on my couch and told me you don’t put out on the first date.” He grinned.

“Wait, shit, did I really say that?” 

Alex nodded with a giant grin. “Yup. Now why don’t you ignore that and kiss me again.”

“Yes, let’s do that.” 

Henry leaned down again for another kiss and Alex sighed into it, leaning his body into Henry who was so annoyingly tall but so well built to hold him up.

As he kissed Henry he heard the sounds of his friends around him and the faint whispers of music and he knew that this would be the first of many great Christmases to come.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on tumblr: [tedddylupin](http://www.tedddylupin.tumblr.com)


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